


you had me from the start

by WhyWouldIEver



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: #hoppyhartwin, Alternate Universe, Civilian Eggsy Unwin, Crack, Fluff, M/M, No Plot/Plotless, Not Canon Compliant, Pre-Hartwin, Soft Harry, Unsolved Mysteries, a lot of eye rolling, hartwin bunny week, soft as in cuddly not soft as in erectile dysfunction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2020-01-22 21:48:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18536131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhyWouldIEver/pseuds/WhyWouldIEver
Summary: Eggsy is mysteriously turned into a bunny. Harry takes him in.A story for #HoppyHartwin on Twitter.





	you had me from the start

**Author's Note:**

> There’s canon proof that Harry is a ball of mush when it comes to cute little animals, so forgive me for the saccharinity. 
> 
> _Holland Lops are miniature rabbits that only weigh from about 2 to 4 pounds. They are muscular, relative to their compact stature, and have a wide variety of coat colours. Since Holland Lops are very small, their legs are also short and stubby._
> 
> _According to the Holland Lop show standards, they are expected to be muscular for their short size. "Broad shoulders and deep hindquarters" are expected traits from a high quality Holland Lop, according to a judge from the Holland Lop Specialty Club. They also added that the legs should be "thick, short, and heavily boned."_
> 
> I imagine Eggsy colored [like this](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/cc/6a/2c/cc6a2c6e224b1713634826e8ea945838.jpg), but more [this size](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/16/11/5a/16115af66a756dc8e08f2ed3be5696f7--holland-lop-bunnies-motion.jpg). I did way too much research on rabbits for this. But doesn't that description of Holland Lop's fit Eggsy so well? I think it does.

Having just finished perfecting his hair, Harry shuts off the light to the bathroom, rushes downstairs and out the front door to where a Kingsman cab is idling, the white cloud from the exhaust visible in the chilly morning air, waiting to drive him to work for the day. Harry opens the back door to the cab and slides inside across the leather seat, shutting the door with a quick click.

“Merlin called,” the driver says over his shoulder as he steers the car down the road. “Wanted me to kick down your door and tell you to get a move on.”

Harry’s eyes meet the driver’s reflection in the mirror. “Did he now?”

“Mm. Said you’ve got a meeting with Arthur scheduled first thing and ‘need to get your arse to work on time for once in your miserable bloody life.’ I told him to fuck off ‘cause it’s cold and I didn’t want to freeze waiting on your front step.”

Harry huffs a small laugh through his nose. “Did you now?”

“Oh, yes. He had—” The car jerks to a stop, the sound of the tires screeching on the road outside as the driver shouts out alarmed, “Jesus!” Harry stops himself from colliding with the back of the driver’s seat by the palm of his hand pressed hard into leather, his wrist bending uncomfortably backwards.

__

He slides back into his seat as the driver rushes out an apology. “So sorry, sir. I think I nearly just ran over a rabbit.” Almost as soon as he finishes speaking, a tiny bunny rabbit jumps up onto the bonnet of the cab facing both the driver and Harry inside. Harry stares as the bunny appears to eye up the driver then aggressively thumps his back leg— _thump thump thump_ —on the bonnet then jumps off the other side of the cab and hops his way along the pavement.

____

Harry watches the retreating little ball of fluff until it rounds the street corner and disappears. “I think you may have just been reprimanded.”

“That was weird, wasn’t it?” the driver says. He laughs a little to himself and steers the car out onto the road.

* * *

A few days later, blessed with a free weekend, Harry enjoys a lazy day indoors. He putters around his house in his comfiest loungewear, only venturing into clothing suitable for outside when he determines that his local shop will be free of most of the weekend day shoppers. He slips a cardigan on over his casual trousers and shirt, grabs his shopping bags, and heads out the door intent on a leisurely walk the few streets over to the nearby shop. He breathes in a deep lungful of London’s chilly late autumn air and glances balefully at the dark clouds overhead. But he sets off determined to enjoy his walk and wills away the rain clouds. 

As he waits at a corner to cross the street, he spots movement in his peripheral vision and turns his head to see a bunny rabbit across the way. He stands watching as the bunny looks up high in the sky for a long, extended moment, its floppy ears nearly brushing the ground. Then to Harry’s bewilderment, it appears to look both ways before crossing the street. Harry stands stock still as the bunny hops away and disappears behind a line of cars parked along the street. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone.

He’s greeted by a terse, “You’re not working today, so this call better be important.”

“Merlin,” Harry stands rooted to the spot. “Do me a favour and ask me a few wellness questions?”

“What?” 

“Ask me some questions to check I’ve not gone insane.” Harry crosses to the side of the street the bunny had been on and leans down to look under each car he passes, looking for what exactly, he has no clue. A bunny, yes. But a bunny doing what, he wonders?

“You’ve always been insane, Harry. Too late to question it now.” Merlin sounds distracted as he speaks as if he’s utterly unaffected by the topic.

“Yes, yes. Very funny. Just ask me something.”

“How doth the little crocodile improve his shining tail?” Merlin asks, his grin visible in his voice.

“Oh, fuck you,” Harry laughs. “I’m hanging up. That’s not even a question.”

“No, no! I’ll ask something real then, Harry. If it’s that important. But why? What’s going on?”

“It’s the strangest thing, Merlin. I could swear I’ve just seen a rabbit look both ways before crossing a street.” Harry straightens up from peering under the last car in the row and with a sigh, he gives up and heads off in the direction of the shop as he continues talking to Merlin.

Merlin laughs now, and Harry is fully aware it’s at him and not the idea of a rabbit checking the road is clear. “What?” Merlin asks.

“It looked like the same rabbit that jumped on the cab the other day. Ask Gordon about it, Merlin. He’ll tell you. So I was worried maybe I’m going prematurely senile.”

Merlin sighs, amused despite himself. “You’re so dramatic, Harry. You’re always worried you’re going prematurely senile. You spot another grey hair and you’re off to buy a whole new range of skin serums and hair dye to try and prevent turning into a ‘grizzled geezer’.”

Harry rolls his eyes and reaches out to grab the door handle of the shop, the little bell chiming as he steps foot inside. “Joke all you want, Merlin. At least I’ve still got my hair.” He picks up a basket and sets off for the bread. “Anyway, I’m at the shop now. I should go.”

“Wait!” Merlin says. “I didn’t ask your ‘wellness question.’” His voice immediately switches to a devilish tone. “So tell me, Harry. How old are you again?” 

“Fuck you very much,” Harry grumbles quietly, mindful of the few patrons roaming nearby. He smiles as he ends the call in the middle of Merlin’s braying laughter and goes about his shopping.

* * *

Once finished, Harry steps outside into a cold drizzle falling from the evening sky. He slings his bagged purchases over his shoulder and folds his arms over his chest to futilely ward off the chilly rain. He stops in place at a loud crash of metal. Turning toward the noise, Harry takes a few steps down the dark alleyway nearby. “Hello?” he calls out. There’s no answer in return, so he strides in a few more paces to the end of the alley only to find it empty minus a pile of junk tossed aside and a few bins lined along the wall. 

Harry wrinkles his nose at the smell of old food getting wet in the rain and turns to head back out to the street. A light thud sounds behind him once again, and Harry turns walking more determined back into the darkness. “What is that? Who’s there?” The sound of scurrying draws Harry’s attention to some of the overturned bins and he crouches down to examine them closely. A small little ball of wet fluff retreats back into the toppled bin still full of old garbage and Harry’s heart flutters. “Oh, you poor thing.” He extends his hand slowly for the bunny to sniff at his skin. “I’m friendly, I swear it,” Harry smiles. He pulls his hand back and settles his forearm across his legs for balance and support as he looks down at the scruffy little rabbit. “You must be freezing out here, darling. Are you lost?” Well aware that he’s cooing at a dirty little bunny rabbit in desperate need of a bath, he scoot-shuffles closer to the bin. “I’m going to pick you up now. You can’t be out here in the rubbish all night, you’ll freeze.”

He reaches his hand into the bin once more and gently scoops the bunny into the palm of his hand. “You are a tiny thing,” he murmurs as he pulls it closer to his body. “You’re already soaked from the rain.” He stands to his feet, tucks the bunny into one side of his cardigan, and snuggles him close to his chest with the palm of his hand. “Come on, then. I’ll take you home where it’s warm and get you something to eat.”

* * *

Harry rushes in his front door straight to the living room where he places the rabbit down onto the sofa. It immediately jumps off then scurries out of the room and up the staircase. “Okay,” Harry says. He stops by the kitchen to put down his groceries and then heads upstairs to track down the rabbit who appears to have found a decent hiding place. He flicks on the light switch in his office and climbs down to hands and knees to look under the chairs and behind the speaker in the corner of the room. Finding nothing, he wanders into his bedroom, but there’s no sight or sound of the rabbit. With a sigh, Harry heads back downstairs and into the kitchen. 

His groceries soon put away, he pulls out two bowls from a nearby cupboard and sets them down on the counter. He opens the refrigerator and pulls out some leafy vegetables, stops to rinse them at the sink, and then shreds up a few pieces and throws them straight into the bowl. Then he fills the other bowl up with water and walks both upstairs. He sets both bowls down on the floor outside his bedroom door. “There’s some food and water,” he says, feeling foolish for talking to a hiding rabbit. He waits a few moments and when there’s still no sound, he steps foot into his bedroom to change out of his damp clothes and into his pyjamas for the evening.

At the end of the night, Harry walks back upstairs and stops with a pleased grin on his face when he sees the greens gone and the water bowl a little emptier. He heads into his bedroom, leaving the door open a crack, and gets ready for bed.

* * *

Sunday passes by much the same way as Saturday, but with a silent addition to Harry’s house. He wakes up in the morning and refills the water and adds more vegetables to the food bowl, then determines to go about his day as he normally would with the thought that the bunny will show itself when it’s ready and feels safe enough to do so.

After a long day of cleaning and lounging about the house, Harry finishes his nightly routine before bed, walks over to the bedroom window, and opens it wide to let the cool nighttime air inside with the hope that it’ll be a proper chilly one. He pulls the duvet down to the foot of the bed and sits with his back against the headboard as he reads for a while. He’s entirely absorbed in the story when he’s startled by the rabbit jumping up onto the far corner of his bed. It sits there staring at Harry, _warily_ , Harry thinks. He grins. “Hello there.” 

The bunny stares a bit longer, finds a comfortable patch of bed as far from Harry as it can get, and cuddles down to sleep. Harry resumes his reading with a small smile on his face. A while later, finished with that chapter, he pulls his duvet up from where it’s settled at his feet. He turns to the rabbit to make sure he won’t accidentally suffocate it with his duvet then turns back over to flick off the light next to his bed. Harry shifts around until he’s comfortable, the plush comforter pulled up around his shoulders and smelling of freshly cleaned linen as he drifts off to sleep.

* * *

The next morning is a brisk one as Harry emerges from where he’s tucked himself up in his bedding cocoon. He turns to see the bunny asleep in a tiny little ball curled in on itself and he can’t help but lean over and run a finger gently down its fur lined back. The bunny startles awake, hops off the bed, and is out the door in a flash.

Harry sighs then flings back his blanket and tucks his feet into the soft slippers on the floor next to his bed. He stands up and stretches luxuriously—ignoring the intrusive thought of old bones creaking—and putters about as he gets ready for the day.

Before he heads out, he refills the bowls again and mutters to himself, “I guess it’s time I do some research on how to properly keep a rabbit.” He leaves the house having neither seen nor heard the bunny since he’d woken it up.

Harry’s sat at the table for a Kingsman meeting mid-morning, fixing the cuff of one sleeve as Merlin wanders around the table providing folders for the agents present in the room. “What do rabbits need as far as proper home care?” Harry asks the room in general.

Merlin stops walking and turns to stare at Harry. “You didn’t.”

Harry looks at Merlin with an expression imitating absolute innocence, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You caught the rabbit?” Merlin says with the exasperation of someone who knows Harry better than he sometimes wishes he did.

“What rabbit?” Lancelot asks in a tone suggesting it’s a piece of hot gossip. 

Merlin rolls his eyes and resumes handing out the folders to the rest of the table. He slaps one down in front of Harry. “Harry,” Merlin nudges his shoulder with the palm of his hand, “Called me thinking he’d lost his mind on Saturday evening. Swore he saw a rabbit look both ways before crossing the street.” He takes a seat in an agent’s empty chair who is currently away on a mission and unable to phone into the meeting via glasses. “And apparently he was right. He did lose his mind because he caught the damn thing and took it home.” He turns to look at Harry. “Right, Harry?”

“Well, yes,” Harry starts fixing the cuff of the other sleeve. “I did bring it home.”

Merlin snorts.

“Why on earth would you bring a dirty rabbit into your house?” Lancelot asks, puzzled. “I’ve seen your house, Harry. I know how clean you like everything.”

“It was raining!” Harry exclaimed. “It was cold, and I found him huddled in a bin full of garbage.”

Both Lancelot and Merlin laugh. “My god, Harry,” Merlin says with a shake of his head.

Harry rolls his eyes. “Anyway, I want to get him some things he might need, so I asked.”

“Why the hell would we know?” Lancelot says, still laughing. “You’re the one who has a ‘special history’ with caring for animals beyond necessity. How is Mr. Pickle, by the way?”

“Oh, bugger off,” Harry rolls his eyes as Arthur walks into the room to begin the meeting.

“Just Google it, Harry. You idiot.”

Harry spends his afternoon doing just that rather than filling out some paperwork he’s behind on. He determines to head to a pet shop after work to buy an unnecessary amount of supplies. When he gets home he scurries around setting up soft beds where he think a nervous bunny might like to hide. “I got a few toys for you, too,” Harry says to the quiet house. “I read you need to eat a lot of hay varieties, so I placed some orders and they should be here within a few days.” He checks and refills the food and water bowls and then goes back to his own routines. He’s watching a bit of _Strictly_ when the bunny makes a reappearance by jumping up on the sofa a decent distance away from where Harry is sitting sprawled comfortably. “Well, hello,” Harry smiles at the bunny and pointedly turns toward the television, but his attention is still riveted on the bunny. It hops a little closer and Harry smiles softly to himself, then another hop and another and the bunny is right next to where Harry sits.

He turns his gaze down with another soft smile and flips his hand over on his leg nearest the bunny. It leans forward sniffing and then jumps up into his palm. “Well,” Harry says. “Aren’t you cute?” With a tip of his finger, Harry drags a gentle line from the top of the bunny’s head down along the curve of its back. When it doesn’t jump away, he repeats the motion until it relaxes right into the curve of his palm. Harry smiles and turns back to watch the dancing couples on TV, lightly petting along the bunny’s head and back for the remainder of the show.

He flicks the set off when the show ends and the bunny lifts its head from where it’d settled along the length of his fingertips. “Sorry, darling. Time for bed.” He waits as if the bunny will understand and jump off his lap. But it stays nestled in his palm, so Harry wraps his other hand around the top of him to keep him steady as he heads upstairs.

Harry opens the windows when he’s finished getting ready for bed then climbs in under the duvet for a bit of reading. He smiles at the bunny, who has elected to snuggle on the pillow beside his own. “I guess I’ll need to take you to the vet for a check-up,” Harry murmurs. He gives it a little scritch behind an ear, and then a few more when it leans up into Harry’s fingers. He flips the book open to his bookmark and reads a few sentences that he doesn’t absorb whatsoever, completely lost in thought. “And I really need to come up with a name for you. I’m thinking something ridiculous just for Merlin.”

* * *

“Fluffernutter,” Harry says to the bunny the next morning as he’s eating his breakfast before work. “No, doesn’t feel right.” He stops for a sip of tea as he ponders. “Just ‘Fluffy’ is cute enough, but that wouldn’t make Merlin apoplectic when he hears it.” He eats in silence for a few minutes as the bunny runs around the room using one of its new toys to play catch with itself, a little ball fawn and grey hair jumping and dragging around a bright green toy double its size. Harry laughs suddenly. “Mr Hoppington, III.” He laughs again as the bunny pauses its maniacal running and stares at him. “Oh, yes. Merlin will hate it. Especially since ‘the Third’ means literally nothing in this context.” Harry finishes his tea, gathers his dishes, and walks into the kitchen to discard them in the empty sink. “I’ll make the vet appointment at work today,” Harry says and walks into the room to see the bunny jumping off one of his bookshelves and looking at Harry like he’s been caught doing something naughty. Harry grins. “Be good,” he says and kneels down to pet behind Mr Hoppington, III’s ears.

The vet appointment is scheduled for the weekend a few days later. The order of hay comes in, so Harry takes the time provided to add it to Mr Hoppington’s diet, and then gives him a nice, proper grooming, brushing and cleaning gently through his hair across his whole tiny, fluffy little body.

When the appointment arrives, Harry loads Mr Hoppington into a carrier and drives to the vet’s office. It goes well for most of the visit. The vet checks his temperature, the state of his teeth, and all the usual health related things. Mr Hoppington is lounging on the table, Harry petting gently down his back as he discusses rabbit care with the vet. 

“In-home rabbits generally do best when neutered,” the vet says, and Mr Hoppington’s body freezes up underneath Harry’s hand. He looks down and Mr Hoppington bites into the finger closest to him. Harry recoils in surprise and then all hell breaks loose. Mr Hoppington jumps off the examination table and runs and hops around the room upending jars and pushing papers off the counter. Harry and the vet both scramble around trying to catch him and calm him down. “I don’t even understand what set him off,” Harry exclaims as he corners Mr Hoppington in the corner of the room, but his fingers are nipped again and Mr Hoppington sets off running across the floor and slides to a stop under the chair next to the wall. 

Harry and the vet both fall to their knees and close in on Mr Hoppington as he cowers with all his exits blocked. Harry finally grabs him, wincing as he’s bitten once more, “Christ,” he grunts. The vet opens the door to the crate and Harry sets him inside, shutting the door quickly once his hands are free.

The vet chuckles. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say he understood what we were talking about.”

She gives Harry a pamphlet on the neutering process for rabbits and proper aftercare then sends him out to make an appointment for the surgery a few weeks later after some required blood tests.

Once they return home later that evening, Mr Hoppington bolts out of the carrier as soon as Harry opens the gate and hides somewhere in the house. Harry shakes his head dismayed. “You are an odd one,” he says as he puts the carrier away.

He’s ignored for the rest of the day until he’s in bed and Mr Hoppington takes his place on the pillow next to Harry’s and cuddles in to sleep. Harry pets him for a few moments then turns over to fall asleep. It’s the first truly cold evening of the season and Harry wakes sometime in the middle of the night to Mr Hoppington cuddling up in the dip between his neck and collarbone. Harry scratches his fingers through his fur absentmindedly until he too is lulled back to sleep by the steady cadence of Mr Hoppington’s breathing.

From that night on, they cuddle a bit more, Mr Hoppington enjoying the warmth of Harry’s skin and nudging his hand for petting and scratching through his fur, his favorite area being right behind each of his ears. 

But all honeymoon phases must come to an end, and Harry is to go on a week long mission in Australia. He walks into Merlin’s office with a determined gait. Merlin looks up, glances at his face, and pointedly turns away from him. “No.”

“Merlin, I need a favour,” Harry says as he takes the seat across from Merlin’s desk.

“I’m not babysitting your fucking rabbit, Harry.”

“Mr Hoppington, III,” Harry says with an obnoxious tilt of his chin.

“You know I will never call it that,” Merlin rolls his eyes at the ridiculous name.

“I need someone to watch him. Alastair’s in Cambodia. I wouldn’t trust Lancelot with him, he’d give him beer for a laugh, and I trust everyone else even less. I can give you everything you need, he’ll probably hide from you the entire time.”

Merlin looks up at him with lips pursed. Harry grins.

“You owe me, you arsehole.”

Harry snorts and waves his hand to dismiss Merlin’s attitude, “I’ll owe you,” he agrees, “Whatever you need.”

“Show up on time for a month,” Merlin says.

“That’s something you know I can’t do,” Harry smirks.

Merlin throws his pen at Harry. “Get out of my office. Leave your stupid rabbit at my house.”

* * *

Harry’s mission is low on the danger scale, but tedious, with a lot of covertly observing the extremely wealthy burn through more money than most people see in their entire lifetime. It’s summer in Australia and Harry hates this level of heat. It’s cloying, leaves him sweaty, burned red, and grumpy. His hands feel constantly sticky from the heat no matter how many times he washes them, which is honestly disgusting. All day he’s been trailing after a man dressed in tacky clothes consisting of too many designer labels and way too much silk and satin, a giggling woman on each arm. They walk into a bar where they’re sure to drink thousands of dollars worth of alcohol, and all Harry can think is that he could really use a drink himself.

Three days and seven hours later, he’s finally gained access to Mr Gilded Gold Everything’s home and phone, done what he needed to do, and is back on an airplane headed home having only received one minor injury from an unexpected knife to the cheek via a burly bodyguard. But Harry couldn’t be happier to step off the plane at Kingsman and feel the cold English air on his skin.

“Medical for the face, Galahad,” Merlin says as he arrives to escort him from the airplane. “And I know you, you’ll try and sneak away. So I’ll walk with you while we debrief.”

Harry rolls his eyes.

“Your rabbit is a real piece of work, by the way,” Merlin says as he taps away at his clipboard.

Harry looks at Merlin alarmed. “What happened?”

“He was mostly well-behaved, don’t worry. It’s just eerie. I’d get home and the television would be on, and I swear I caught him looking at a book. _Reading_ a book, Harry. Your rabbit is weird.” He gestures for Harry to continue walking in front of him.

Harry snorts and shakes his head. “Did you bring him back to my house this morning?”

Merlin rolls his eyes. “Yes. God, you and your damn animals. Were you really this bad with Mr Pickle? I swear I blocked it out. Separation anxiety, Harry. Look it up.”

* * *

Harry gets home a couple hours later, cheek patched up a bit, and a fresh batch of paperwork to fill out by the end of the week that he fully intends to put off until the night before like any self-respecting procrastinator.

He removes his shoes in the small foyer, picks them up, and heads upstairs to change out of his suit. When he walks into his bedroom he finds Mr Hoppington, III nestled on _his_ pillow rather than the one he usually sleeps on. “Missed me, did you?” Harry asks and walks into the closet to change.

He reemerges into the room to find Mr Hoppington gone from his sleeping spot, and he heads downstairs to prepare something to eat, makes sure Mr Hoppington’s food and water supply are properly filled, and then settles down for a bit of mindless television for the rest of the evening.

A while into a ridiculous reality show where mildly famous people shout at each other a lot, Mr Hoppington hops up onto the table in front of the sofa and sits staring at Harry for a rather long time. 

Harry pats his lap. “You did miss me, didn’t you?”

Mr Hoppington glowers at Harry a moment longer and then jumps away, leaving behind little poo pellets all over Harry’s book left strewn on the table. He scurries off out of the room in a hurry.

Harry looks at the poo in surprised disgust. “Jesus,” he mutters, and stands to find something to clean it up.

He’s sitting up reading a completely different book in bed that evening when Mr Hoppington resurfaces, jumping up onto the foot of the bed and sitting there watching Harry as he completely ignores him. Long minutes later, Mr Hoppington shuffles up onto Harry’s knees and sits there waiting as Harry continues ignoring him until finally, he shuts his book with a snap and pulls back the duvet for Mr Hoppington to come in closer. “Fine, you naughty thing.”

Mr Hoppington zips over the top of the duvet and under the edge to snuggle down next to Harry.

* * *

“Fuckin’ hell!” 

Harry is startled out of a deep sleep in the dead of night by the sound of a loud exclamation and he bolts out of bed ready to fight his enemies. He squints into the darkness and sees the silhouette of a man across from him in his own bedroom, situational awareness coming back as his eyes adjust. He leans over to his bedside table and flicks on the lamp and is greeted by the sight of a rather gorgeous and—Harry’s eyes flick up and down his body quickly—fit young man standing nude in his bedroom. 

“Who the hell are you?” Harry’s voice bursts through the stunned silence in the bedroom. “And how the hell did you get in here?” The vocalization of his questions thrusts Harry into spy instincts and he grabs for the gun he keeps in the drawer of the table.

“Whoa,” the man puts up his hands in a defensive gesture. “Look, I can explain,” he says. He flinches, “Well, I can sort of explain.” He gestures to the bed as if that will answer all the questions racing through Harry’s head.

Harry lowers the gun as he really takes in the man standing there shivering slightly. The golden color of his hair is what really sets his thoughts running into insane territory. “Mr Hoppington?” Harry asks bewildered.

The man sighs. “Fuck’s sake.” He covers himself with his hands. “Could I get some clothes first? I’m gonna freeze my dick off, you keep this room so fucking cold.”

Harry gawks wordlessly then turns into his wardrobe, emerging with a shirt and some boxer shorts that he hands over to the man who mutters a quick, “Thanks.”

“You are Mr Hoppington?” Harry asks.

“My name is Eggsy, actually. But yes, you knew me as Mr Hoppington, _the third_ ,” he emphasizes. “Which, by the way, is a god awful name.”

Harry scoffs. “Your name is _Eggsy_.”

Eggsy laughs and rolls his eyes. “Yeah, fair enough.” He bundles his hands into the bottom of the shirt he’s wearing. “And I have no idea how that happened before you even ask. I was walking down the street, minding my own business when this guy ran into me and the next thing I knew, I woke up and I was a fucking rabbit.” He unrolls his hands from the shirt. “I was wandering for a few days when you nearly killed me with your car.”

“That _was_ you!” Harry exclaims, surprised and oddly delighted to have that confirmed.

“Yeah, and you can tell your driver friend to watch where he’s fucking going more often.” 

Harry sits down on his bed as he absorbs the absurdity of everything that’s happened in the last few minutes. His back bolts up straight as a realization pops into his head. “I nearly had you neutered!”

“Yeah, and thank fuck I turned back,” Eggsy laughs a bit crazed. “I had no clue how I was going to escape to avoid that.” He sighs and sits on the other end of the bed, plucks at it a few times. “Right. Look, I’m fucking exhausted, and you keep your house bloody freezing.”

“I like to get cozy under a thick duvet when the room is cold,” Harry says defensively.

“I’m not judging,” Eggsy says. “But I need some normal human sleep before I even think of doing anything else, so…” Eggsy trails off and pulls the rumpled duvet back. “I’m going to sleep here.” He plops down on the bed as if it’s his own and pats the space next to him.

Harry lifts his side of the duvet and slides underneath, watches as Eggsy settles back onto Mr Hoppington’s pillow. Eggsy looks up at him. “How’s about you make me breakfast in the morning, yeah? Make up for nearly neutering me.”

Harry smiles wryly. “Sounds fair.” He arranges himself into a comfortable position and turns the light back off, his brain frozen by the odd turn the night has taken. He tilts his head toward Eggsy when he feels him shift closer.

“You’re warm,” Eggsy explains. 

Harry shifts to fit his arm comfortably underneath Eggsy, who takes the opportunity to cuddle in closer. Eggsy grabs Harry’s hand and places it in his hair, persuading Harry to scratch his fingers through.

“Mmm,” Eggsy grumbles. “You were always way too good at that.”

A few silent moments later Harry speaks, Eggsy tilting his head up to listen. “I’ll make you breakfast, but you owe me dinner.”

“Oh, do I?” Eggsy smirks.

“You shit on my book.” 

“Oh, God.” Eggsy cringes with a nervous chuckle and turns his head into Harry’s shoulder. Harry grins and sifts his fingers through Eggsy’s hair some more. “I’m sorry,” Eggsy says. “It seemed like the right decision at the time. Blame it on the bunny thinking?” he suggests. “But yeah, I can definitely do dinner.”

Harry pulls him in closer for a good cuddle. It’s not that weird, he thinks, they’d already been cuddling together for weeks.

The End

* * *

****

**Micro Epilogue:**

Harry makes Eggsy breakfast the next morning with no greens in sight as requested. Eggsy takes Harry out to dinner. They date, they fall in love, they live happily ever after. Merlin takes to calling Eggsy “Mr Hoppington, III” after all. And when Harry feels particularly lovey-dovey he calls Eggsy “Bunny.”

**Author's Note:**

> I've never participated in any sort of challenge before, so I wanted to give this one a go. But I dithered on whether to post because it's so silly, and then I saw a similarly themed piece of art on Twitter last night, and worried they'd think I was stealing. I think the ideas are different enough from each other that it should be okay though. [You should check out her adorable drawing of bunny!Eggsy with Harry!](https://twitter.com/kingsman_hell/status/1119418787659431942)
> 
> I keep writing civilian Eggsy for some reason, no idea why. But I hope you enjoyed the story. Go peek at all the other cute [#HoppyHartwin](https://twitter.com/hashtag/HoppyHartwin?src=hash) goodies over on Twitter!


End file.
